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On a Date, Who Pays?

By Bonny Albo, About.com

Question: On a Date, Who Pays?
Answer:

Several recent dating studies have shown what most people already know intuitively: on a first date of a heterosexual coupling, the man pays almost three-quarters of the time. But what about people of different sexual orientations, or when a woman asks a man out on a date?

A simple rule of thumb to follow when wondering who pays on a date is: whoever initiated the date, is expected to pay for it.

Having said that, not everyone knows this rule or abides by it. So what do you do when the person who asked you out on a date hasn't made the move to pay?

Wait. Take some time to see whether or not your date intended to pay and they just hadn't picked up the check yet. If they don't pay within five minutes of the check being placed on the table, point casually to the bill and say, "Can I help you with that?" This should signal to the initiator of the date that they were expected to pay, but you're still willing to go dutch if the question of who pays was assumed.

More Dating Q&A

Users Respond: Who Should Pay For a Date?

Men should pay for the first few dates.

Neen writes:
It shows that they are into you if they are willing to shell out the money it costs to spend time with you will getting a bite to eat or some drinks... It's okay to pick up a drink or some small things, but until he's very in like with you, he should pay. Then the female should pick up ordering pizza or Chinese food... but he should still pay on "dates".

I think men should pay.

Tanya writes:
Men should show that they are gentlemen. Men should ask themselves this: "If I had a daughter, would I want her to have to pay for dates?" If later in the relationship, they're close and there's a mutual decision to share expenses, then it's ok for a woman to pay her way, every once in a while. But until they're serious, a guy needs to step it up.

its complicated

Talia writes:
If it is a first date, the gal should offer, but ultimately the guy should pick up the tab. If the guy lets the gal pick up the tab, he is cheap. I would not go out with him again. On the other hand, if the man is really lousy company, I will get out money to cover my half of the bill and escort myself out of the restaurant. If there are subsequent dates, the guy should always pick up the tab. The lady is his guest. If she splits the bill, it is not a date. It is friends sharing a meal.
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